This is going a little far, I mean, seriously…

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - The International Space Nomenclature Council today adopted the term ‘emplacements de hauts gravite super’ - or ’super high gravity locations’ - as the official replacement name for black holes. Originally named in reference to the fact that light cannot escape their intense gravity, the term ‘black hole’ was increasingly criticized as being insensitive to African-Americans and African-Europeans.

“We’re glad the council finally took action on this issue.” said Isaiah Herman, Chairman of the National African-American Coalition of People. “The unimaginable destructive power of these super high gravity locations was giving the word ‘black’ a negative connotation throughout the universe.”

Super high gravity locations are the remnants of giant stars that collapse into a substance so dense that it has a gravitational pull that consumes all matter that comes near it. “They’re the bad boys of the cosmos.” says Nokidi Imsure, Professor of Astronomic Anthropology at Howyflyl University. “You would definitely want to cross the street if you saw one coming.”